DEAR ABBY: I’ve a full-time job and am in fairly good well being. I’ve one son, “Brian,” who’s married and has three kids. My downside is that my son is commonly impolite to me. I used to be a single mother who raised him alone. I believed I used to be a fairly good mom. His spouse is tremendous delicate to any remark I make and finds fault with virtually something I do. They spend quite a lot of time together with her household and exclude me.
If I make a remark about Brian’s spouse, he will get mad and calls me hateful or impolite. I’ve been good to each of them, serving to in any manner I can, but they don’t take that into consideration. Brian and I get into arguments over this. Generally I’ve gone overboard and instructed him he wants to determine what his downside is with me. He by no means tells me why he behaves like this. They don’t go to me or carry the kids over. They are saying they’re busy, however they at all times discover time to go to her household, their cousins, and many others.
Should I quit on having any type of relationship with them? I really like my son and want to be part of his life, however I don’t suppose I ought to settle for him being vital of me on a regular basis it doesn’t matter what I do. If I attempt to speak objectively along with his spouse, she says I’m attempting to begin one thing. Please assist. — HEARTBROKEN IN GEORGIA
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: I’ll strive. Assume management of your life and stop in search of crumbs out of your son and his spouse! Doing in any other case has introduced you solely ache and disappointment. Acknowledge that nevertheless you raised your son, you probably did one of the best you possibly can beneath tough circumstances.
Your daughter-in-law appears to have taken management of your son, and he has allowed it. Sadly, it’s common. Once you see or speak to them, trade nothing however pleasantries. Focus your energies in your friendships and different facets of your life. This may increasingly prevent from further grief and be extra rewarding than persevering with to hit your head towards a brick wall.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 14-year-old woman. There are some imply women in school. Once I speak to them, they are saying imply issues. I don’t have comeback, so I simply stand there doing nothing. I want some good ideas. I maintain telling adults, however the women maintain doing it. How can I make them cease for good, and do you may have some comebacks I can use? — SPEECHLESS IN IDAHO
DEAR SPEECHLESS: There isn’t a approach to power a bully to cease. This ugly habits is who these women are. I don’t advocate attempting to beat them at their very own merciless recreation by competing on their degree, as a result of in case you do, they may win. As an alternative of approaching them and giving them the chance to say imply issues to you, take into account attempting to make buddies with different women — women who would possibly wish to be buddies with you too.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
What teenagers have to learn about intercourse, medication, AIDS and getting together with friends and oldsters is in “What Each Teen Ought to Know.” Ship your identify and mailing handle, plus examine or cash order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Pricey Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Field 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Transport and dealing with are included within the worth.)
