DEAR ABBY: I’m the mom of a 16-year-old lady, “Leia.” She has been dwelling with my mother and father since she was 10 as a result of that’s what she and my people wished on the time. I didn’t need her to, however I allowed it to occur as a result of I used to be having well being points.
Leia selected to stay there as a result of my mother and father spoiled her rotten, they usually proceed to spoil and pamper her. This has resulted in her changing into probably the most self-centered, demanding, disrespectful particular person my mother and father and I’ve ever seen, they usually now need her to dwell with me. I predicted (to myself solely) that she’d prove this manner on account of their “parenting.” My mother and father created an entitled teenager and now they count on me to undergo the implications of what they did.
They guilt-trip me with their well being issues as a motive they need her to depart. I are not looking for her to come back right here. I don’t wish to should take care of her angle and attempt to stop her from working away. I additionally don’t wish to lose my daughter ceaselessly as a result of they kicked her out, however she doesn’t like my guidelines. What recommendation do you’ve gotten? — MOM OF A MONSTER
DEAR MOM: Your mother and father took your daughter in due to your well being points. You enabled their poor parenting to proceed by permitting your daughter to dwell with them and never talking up. In the end, Leia is your duty till she is eighteen, and presumably longer.
Your mother and father should now clarify to Leia that due to their poor well being, she shall be staying with you. As a minor, this resolution isn’t hers to make. (It shouldn’t have been within the first place.) When she and her belongings arrive, clarify what YOUR home guidelines shall be and the explanations for them. If she threatens to run away, level out that if that occurs, she could turn out to be a ward of the state, and foster care may very well be much less nice than staying with the mom who loves her however doesn’t like who Leia has turn out to be whereas dwelling with the grands.
DEAR ABBY: Two {couples} I do know are getting married quickly. Each {couples} plan on having small, intimate weddings within the close to future and bigger, grander weddings afterward. Every has their very own causes for doing so.
What’s the reward coverage when somebody holds two weddings? I’ve already bought one thing for one couple’s upcoming small marriage ceremony and can probably attend their massive one, however should I purchase them a present for that one as properly? Or is one reward on the small marriage ceremony for every couple sufficient? — EXCITED GUEST IN OHIO
DEAR GUEST: Marriage ceremony presents are given in celebration of the WEDDING. What these buddies are scheduling is an “occasion” FOLLOWING their intimate marriage ceremony. No rule of etiquette calls for that you simply give the couple two separate presents.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
For every part you have to find out about marriage ceremony planning, order “The way to Have a Pretty Marriage ceremony.” Ship your title and mailing deal with, plus verify or cash order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Expensive Abby, Marriage ceremony Booklet, P.O. Field 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Delivery and dealing with are included within the worth.)
