DEAR ABBY: My father and stepmother have a trip house in one other state, and so they invite us to go to yearly. The issue is, the couch mattress within the visitor room is so uncomfortable that it’s unimaginable to sleep. Nevertheless, they suppose that the mattress is nice as a result of different friends have instructed them that. I discover it onerous to consider that the opposite friends meant it. I assume they have been simply being well mannered.
We have now to fly to get to the holiday house, so it’s not potential to go to just for the day. The state of affairs makes me not need to go to as a result of going for days with out sleeping is depressing. Nevertheless, I’m afraid it will be impolite to inform them the reality in regards to the mattress. I’m operating out of excuses about why I can’t go to. Please, I need assistance. — RESTLESS DAUGHTER IN NEW YORK
DEAR DAUGHTER: For heaven’s sake, stop waffling and inform your father and stepmother the reality! No matter what earlier friends have instructed them, the mattress of their visitor room is just not snug FOR YOU. Saying that isn’t impolite. If they will afford a trip house, they will afford a brand new mattress or allow you to share the expense.
DEAR ABBY: My father or mother has gone on to produce other children, grandkids and great-grandkids. As a result of there are such a lot of, the households have needed to cut up and have their very own holidays, so we don’t have a detailed relationship with the youthful members. A few of them proceed to ask or count on presents for child showers and different events, however we actually haven’t any relationship with the individual it’s for. I perceive we’re “household,” however at this level, that is generations again, and at occasions, these kinfolk don’t even communicate to us.
Is it OK to attract the road someplace? If I am going to an occasion, I’ll in fact give a present, however is all of it proper to not attend or ship a present? It doesn’t assist that they normally don’t give presents to different relations for his or her occasions, and when our presents have been obtained, there’s by no means a thank-you. — MUSING IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR MUSING: If you obtain an invite to an occasion from folks you barely know, you’re underneath no obligation to simply accept. You’re additionally not required to ship a present. In case you are feeling beneficiant, ship the individual a pleasant card and embody a candy be aware along with your effectively needs.
DEAR ABBY: As soon as a month, I meet for lunch and playing cards with three girls I’ve identified for a few years. We have now plenty of enjoyable, however it’s bittersweet for me. I’m conscious the three of them get collectively and talk usually, however not with me. What actually bothers me is that they try to cover it from me. I’m contemplating dropping out of those get-togethers as a result of I really feel damage that I’m being excluded. Or ought to I simply attempt to ignore it? — LEFT OUT IN INDIANA
DEAR LEFT OUT: These girls might for some motive really feel they’ve extra in widespread with one another than they do with you, and they’re secretive about their communications in an effort to keep away from hurting your emotions. Do you’ve got buddies aside from these girls? If the reply is not any, begin trying round for actions you may be a part of so you may meet new folks. Within the meantime, whereas trying to broaden your social circle, do your greatest to get pleasure from this one.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Good recommendation for everybody — teenagers to seniors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and The best way to Deal With It.” To order, ship your identify and mailing deal with, plus verify or cash order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Expensive Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Field 446, King Mills, OH 45034-0446. (Transport and dealing with are included within the worth.)
