DEAR ABBY: My husband and I’ve been married lower than a yr, and I’m pregnant with my first youngster. Our child was deliberate, and we had been thrilled.
One thing modified with my husband as soon as I hit the second trimester. If I learn one thing about being pregnant and attempt to share it with him, he immediately shuts me down, saying I shouldn’t consider all the things I learn or that I’m losing my time. He doesn’t wish to arrange something within the nursery, both. He retains saying we don’t have to do it till a month earlier than the newborn is due.
I’m making an attempt to be affected person and understanding, however buddies have now taken a step again from speaking to me and I’m feeling very remoted. The opposite night time, my husband put me down at dinner with buddies. One in every of them stated being pregnant was probably the most egocentric factor a lady might do, and my husband AGREED! I’m nonetheless damage by the remark. Whereas the particular person apologized for saying it and additional defined their place on the topic (everybody had been ingesting, besides me), my husband hasn’t apologized. He refuses and says I’m idiotic for being so upset about it.
I’m at a loss right here. We deliberate for this child, and I believed it might deliver us even nearer. Now I really feel extremely alone and unhappy. Why would anybody say one thing so merciless, and why would my husband agree as an alternative of being on my facet? — EXPECTING MORE IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR EXPECTING: Being pregnant is an thrilling and difficult expertise for all involved, and your feelings could also be heightened. Though your husband was initially enthusiastic in regards to the concept of beginning a household straight away, it’s attainable that in this second trimester he acknowledged the fact of the tasks that include parenthood. It is usually attainable that, due to your pleasure about your being pregnant, it has turn into your predominant matter of dialog, which can be why your mates have stepped again.
The comment that was made the night the 2 of you had been with buddies was possible fueled by an excessive amount of alcohol and never sufficient logic. Your husband could have agreed as a result of he feels jealous that your physique has been “co-opted” by the newborn. Not figuring out him, I can’t guess at why he continues to refuse to apologize for it.
It appears to me you’ll really feel much less remoted should you discovered an older, extra skilled feminine good friend or relative to information you thru this difficult interval. Additionally, sustain along with your medical appointments to ensure all the things is progressing usually.
DEAR ABBY: I used to be born deaf in my proper ear. Regardless of what number of occasions I remind the folks I’m closest to, they nonetheless appear to get aggravated with me as a result of I ask them to repeat what they are saying. It’s particularly onerous for me when their backs are turned to me. Any ideas on find out how to curb my anger? Sure, it does upset me due to my listening to problem. — HEARING AS BEST AS I CAN
DEAR HEARING: Curb your anger by persevering with to remind folks they should discuss into your “good” ear and, if you end up seated, make certain the folks you have an interest in conversing with are sitting to your left. Should you do, it might be much less hectic for all of you.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
To obtain a set of Abby’s most memorable — and most incessantly requested — poems and essays, ship your title and mailing handle, plus test or cash order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Expensive Abby — Keepers Booklet, P.O. Field 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Transport and dealing with are included within the value.)